ADOPTION: It's About LOVE

This topic has such a special place in our hearts. I’ve been wanting to post an entry regarding ADOPTION, along with a tribute to Brody’s birth parents for a long time, but I hesitated because this topic is so near, and dear to us, I didn’t quite know how to give it justice, while at the same time preserving our birth parent’s privacy. However, I now have the perfect opportunity to post about it. . .

Several weeks ago we had a photographer friend (who we met through FSA (families supporting adoption) classes and has adopted 2 children of her own) take some pictures of us, and Brody’s birth parents. We wanted to capture the “adoption placement,” and the LOVE that was felt by all, for this baby boy (sadly, we didn’t get any pictures at the hospital on the actual day of placement, as unfortunately it felt sort of rushed, but we wanted to preserve the moment in some way). I’ll remember that day as very “bitter- sweet.”  I know that sounds cliché. . . It was the happiest day of our lives, but we also felt the pain, and agony our birth parents (and their families) were going through at the same time.

It is very important to us that Brody always knows, and understands that his adoption was done out of PURE love for him. Through these pictures, we hope he’ll be able to SEE this. The world has many misconceptions about adoption, and often portrays the negative, or sad views of adoption. We don’t ever want Brody to be confused by this, or feel that he was “given up.” They didn’t give Brody up, they gave him more. Brody’s birth parents had an extremely agonizing decision to make, and we are eternally grateful that they had the COURAGE to do what they knew was right, and what was very best for him. They made a purely UNSELFISH decision, and followed their hearts, and lovingly placed him in our arms. Now that, is a example of pure LOVE. For us, we received the ultimate gift.-- a child! Next to the atonement, I can’t think of a greater gift than that. Can you!? They knew that Brody was sent here on earth to be in our family. I sometimes wonder if an agreement was made between the four of us long ago, in heaven. There were so many miracles, and things that took place to make this adoption happen- - I have no doubt that our Heavenly Father guided our birth parents, and guided our little boy to us. And I also believe Brody directed our birth parents to choosing us. The Lord definitely places people in our lives at the right times, in the right situations.

We are FOREVER grateful to Brody’s birth parents, and have an enormous amount of love for them. They will always have a special place in our hearts. Brody is such a lucky boy to be soooo loved by so many. Thank you for giving us the gift we could not give each other.
We know Brody is our son. That he was meant to be in our FOREVER family-- he just had to get to us a different way.

Brody’s adoption story (in a nutshell):

There’s so MUCH more to the story than this, but I’m keeping it short, and sweet for the time being.
Brody’s birth parents were getting ready to start their senior year of high school when the found out they were pregnant. They began to consider adoption as an option. Brody’s birth mom, Kourtney, began looking at adoptive couples profile’s on "ItsAboutLove.org" (LDS Family Service's adoption website). Our profile stood out to her. The opening picture on our adoption profile was the one of Brent, and I on our horses smooching (the one that’s on the top right corner of this blog). When she saw it, she had a “warm feeling,” and she decided to read our profile. Kourtney began communicating with us by email in September 2009. We talked this way for a couple of months, and then in early November, she made her decision. She had chosen us to be the parents of her baby!! We met in person with Kourtney and Jordan, (Brody’s birth father), in December, and we immediately hit it off! We felt like we had known them before, and things progressed from our first meeting. We met a few other times, and Kourtney was thoughtful enough to give us an album of Brody’s ultrasounds. I can’t describe how much that meant. We got to know one another through the months that followed, and developed a sweet friendship. We have an open adoption, and we are grateful for this. Brody will never have to wonder, or have the mystery of all the “why’s,” and “who’s” haunting him throughout his life.

Well, I haven’t even tipped the iceberg with our adoption story. . . I’ll save the rest for some other time.
 

Here some of the pictures that we had taken. I hope you can somewhat feel the love that was felt by all of us for this little boy, when he was placed in our arms on that magical March day.

Brody's birth mom, and I have matching necklaces which have"two hearts" on them.  They represent our hearts, two mother's love for this sweet baby boy.  We gave the necklace to her on the day of placement which seemed like such a small, insignificant gift compared to the gift we were being given.   But, I love what it represents.  Since then, we have added Brody's birth stone which hangs between the two hearts.

Our "angel" who delivered Brody to us.

"If our prayers had been answered the way that we wanted them to, you wouldn't be in our arms."  

I love this quote.  During the past ten years we have been through so many struggles to start our family, as we have traveled down the painful road of infertility, and throughout the adoption process.  The fall before Brody's adoption, we had experienced our second failed IVF (in-vitro fertilization).  We were devastated, and heart broken to say the very least.  We were shocked, and weary, from the unending grief we were experiencing. (Click here to see an article on what couples experiencing infertility go through.)  We wanted so badly for it to work, and we couldn't understand WHY.  We had also endured an adoption scam, and several failed adoptions.  Why did we have to endure this trial, and why did Heavenly Father think we were strong enough for it?  Why wasn't anything working out for us?  After all, it was a righteous desire, and we were doing everything in our power to have children.  Why weren't we being blessed?  We were literally to the point where we didn't have anything more to give of ourselves, and felt like giving up.  All we could do is trust in our Heavenly Father.  And we did.  He had a plan for us, and he blessed us according to His plan, and His timing.  There was a special baby boy who was waiting to join our family, and we had to wait for him.  If things had worked out for us with IVF, or the other adoptions, we wouldn't have him in our lives.  We can't imagine life without him. 

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin "Come What May, and Love It." 

(Click here to view full article)

We shed MANY, MANY tears throughout this process, and it is true, every tear WAS returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

 Just look at that sweet face. 

Ten tiny toes.

 I love this one.  Bless you!!  The photographer had perfect timing to catch Brody's sneeze!

WE LOVE ADOPTION.  We especially love the baby boy it has brought into our lives.

Photos by: paulakphotography.blogspot.com